Pokemon Loveline
by Cager Macleod
Summary: It's a call in radio show where the characters of Pokemon call in with there problems and ask for advise.


**Pokemon Loveline.**

**A/N: This is based on Loveline on KROQ and Pokemon, which I own the rights to neither.**

**If you do not listen to Loveline there is one in joke that must be explained to you: (thanks to Wikipedia for the explanation because I couldn't be bothered writing one)**

**Mason Jar: **The key term given by a bogus Loveline caller to declare its bogosity and end the call. (Usually preceded by "His/her asshole was the size of a..."

**Please R&R – Thanks.**

****

Dr. Drew: You're on Loveline, with Adam Carolla, me; Dr. Drew and our special guest for tonight, Professor Oak.

Oak: Hello Everyone

Adam: First up we have Brock on the phone, Doin' Brock?

Brock: Hi everyone, I just wanted to say I am a big fan. And I listen all the time, him.

Adam: Er, Okay then, what's your problem?

Brock: I keep getting rejected.

Drew: That could be for many reasons, why do you think you keep getting rejected?

Brock: Because I ask for Sex on the first date.

Adam: Wayhey, Now we're getting somewhere. So it's not that you can't pick up, it's that you get rejected after the date.

Brock: Yeah.

Drew: Well, simply, don't ask for sex on the first date.

Brock: But that takes the fun away, I don't want some stuck-up girl that wants to wait, I want the ones that are ready to go.

Drew: hire a prostitute. Be better for you alright. Okay, next caller, Drew?

Adam: Next up we have Ash, what it do Ash?

Ash: I want to have sex with Pokemon.

Oak: You cannot do that.

Drew: That would not be a very wise thing to do, Pokemon, like animals, aren't really the best objects for copulation with.

Ash: But when I see my Pikachu, I am sexually aroused.

Adam: (quietly to Drew: This is a mason's jar) Your bogus yeah?

Drew(to Adam, yeah I think he's bogus.)

Dumps call.

Adam: Professor Oak, you have a vast knowledge of Pokemon, have you heard of human's attempting sex with Pokemon.

Oak: Yes I have, and it has ended up in a lot of injuries, especially for males. Pokemon are likely to attack, for want of a better word, when raped. And a lot of males have lost, er, appendages because of it.

Drew: Yes, there is a documented study on Pokemon attraction, but come on, that guy was Bogus.

Adam: Next caller

Misty: Hi, I'm Misty and I have boy troubles.

Drew: Yeah?

Misty: Well I had sex with a guy once and it hurt when he put it in

Adam: Girl has sex and it hurts, get a hand in, come on, the helmets not a tree.

Misty: Um, what?

Drew: Ignore him, well were you sufficiently lubricated?"

Misty: I was wet if that's what you mean?

Drew: Yeah –

Misty: Was he too big for me?

Drew: I guess that could be possible. Sometimes a male can be too big for a smaller in size female. Just make sure next time you do it, you control it so it doesn't hurt so much. Okay?

Misty: Okay.

Adam: Alright, we're on a roll Drew, Next caller:

Drew: Loveline, hello?

Ash: It's Ash again, I am being serious, I am sexually attracted to my Pikachu.

Drew: Okay then, lets for a second say that you are, how are you sexually aroused by Pikachu.

Ash: Well, it's just the way we are so close together as friends and the way he looks at me.

Oak: Well being attracted to a Pokemon which you think you love but is actually just a deep friendship is not uncommon, but I think you're going a bit over the top. I have said that trying to fornicate with a Pokemon is not rare. Have you tried to perform anything sexual on Pikachu.

Ash: Yes and his arsehole is the size of a Mason jar. GOTS CHA

Drew Dumps Call

Adam: That guy need some help and I'm not just talking about mental, you get what I mean. Drew?

Drew: Well we have our next caller. Gary, what can we do you for?

Gary: I am having sex with a girl and she is too small.

Adam: Oh No that's a problem, There is nothing worse than doing it with a girl and she can't take it all. Am I right?

Gary: Damn straight you're right. She should take my whole girth. Is there anyway I can make it bigger.

Drew(laughing) No you cannot chisel, or drill it to make it bigger. You will just have to find a position that works for you both. Didn't we already have a caller on about this.

Line Drops.

Adam: Yeah, but you can never have too many opinions yeah.

Drew: Okay, we'll be back right after the break. You're on Loveline.

(Song drop plays.)


End file.
